Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

TV's prominent entertainers spent their evening mocking ex-President Donald Trump's just announced visa program, labeled the "Trump card," characterizing it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the rich.

The Late Show's Witty Spin

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... spoils everything he touches."

The focus was the new program which allows international individuals to buy U.S. residency for a sum of a million dollars, or "top-tier" version for 5 million. An official portal pledges approval "in record time."

"A quick message for you to affluent foreigners: before you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the scheme is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms wishing to hire skilled workers, with hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your selection – as long as it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The most thorough background check the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow affluent international individuals to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the application, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers amid financial worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a attempt to address prices, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of food items, and reacted peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting conservative media defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.